Superstitions have never been a thing for me. This "Friday the 13th is bad luck" thing has always bothered me. What makes the 13th falling on a Friday so much worse than any other day of the week? Traditionally don't people LOVE Fridays? So even if you are not a fan of the number 13, wouldn't the fact that it falls on a Friday kind of "even the scales"?
"Monday the 13th"! Now that I could understand. Most people do not like Mondays and add in the bad luck notion of the number 13 this would make some sense. To just pick on Friday when it arbitrarily is associated with the number 13 seems not only unfair but nonsensical.
My mother always gets excited on Friday the 13th. She takes it to the other extreme, balking at any superstitions and almost tempting fate by trying to find ladders to walk under and black cats to cross her path. This I find just as silly. It's just another day of the week with a number of the day of that month associated with the purpose of keeping time straight. It holds no power, good or bad.
Throw in a full moon (or in the case of this past January 13, 2017, where the moon was one day past full but close enough for some) and people really go crazy. The last time a true full moon fell on a Friday the 13th was June 13, 2014, and the next will be August 13, 2049. (Huh, I will be 79! Interesting.) That will be a fun day to observe people - hope I remember it is happening.
It all comes back to my original question, why does Friday the 13th get such a bad rap? I am thinking we can collectively agree Mondays are worse and I propose that we, together, erase the stigma of Friday the 13th and give Monday the 13th crap for a while. Let's celebrate the next Friday the 13th instead of tiptoeing around thinking the sky is going to fall on us. We have time to prepare, the next one isn't until April 2018. Until then, enjoy black cats crossing your paths, taking shortcuts under ladders, and clean up that mess of a broken mirror with a shrug and a "things happen" attitude.
All my best to you and yours.
Saturday, December 16, 2017
Tuesday, October 10, 2017
In A Nutshell
65,853,516 vote for the Democrat, 306 Electoral votes for the Republican, 59 people are dead, 32 NFL teams bending knees, 23 guns in a hotel room, 1 VP takes a trip to a game on taxpayers backs just to leave, 0.
"Zero what?" you ask. Just Zero.
Zero represents nothing, it is empty. This is the feeling many have inside when any number of people are killed for what seems to be no reason at all. Empty is what people would like to see at stadiums nationwide because of the seeming disrespect players are participating in. Empty are the rooms of the people who while enjoying a concert on a Sunday evening were gunned down for no apparent reason. Zero is the number of gun laws that the NRA want. Zero is the number of protests many people would like to see. Zero is the tolerance level for bullying but zero is also the tolerance level from many of the bullies for those who fight for their equality. We can't keep living in the world of zero, of doing nothing. It is empty.
When some people hear "Black lives matter" they feel it means then "other lives do not".
When some people hear "White privilege" they feel it means "white people have no problems".
The actual meanings could not be more the opposite. If we were to finish the first statement it would read - Black lives matter as much as anyone and every life matters. And "White privilege"? Let me explain ...
First what it doesn't mean:
It doesn't mean all white people are rich.
It doesn't mean all white people have no problems. AND,
It doesn't mean all white people get whatever they want.
What it DOES mean is simply because of your skin color you are afforded certain advantages without earning them. These advantages may be obvious but many are less obvious especially to those living in predominantly white environments who may be on the lower income scale. Even low-income white people are afforded certain privileges they did not earn. The privileges can be anything from presumed greater social status to the freedom to move about, work, play, and speak freely.
When white people say things such as, "Prejudice doesn't exist anymore." or "Racism isn't a problem." When white people add, "It isn't about the color of their skin, if they work hard or don't break the law then they have nothing to worry about." Those statements could not be further from the truth. An innocent white man could be walking down the street at dusk without a care in the world but an innocent black man has to be aware and "on" NOT because of any other reason than the color of his skin.
People say this country is divided, and it is. And anything divided by zero is undefined. Is this country "undefined"? Well, maybe it is. Unlike many countries, we do not have an official language. There are 43 countries that have an official religion. The United States of America is young and was founded on freedoms. The Declaration of Independence was written in 1776 to declare independence from Great Britain. The Constitution was written in 1787 and the Bill of Rights (the first 10 amendments to the Constitution) was written in 1791. These would be the documents that one could argue define our country. I personally think they are good documents and to be clear the Bill of Rights specifically was written to protect the rights of ALL the people of the United States. The Constitution's preamble is "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America." All of us.
We. We the People. That is much more than zero and the rest of the document, each article, each section, they, together, define our country. Let's not define our country by zero, by that empty feeling. Let's yell for the equality. Let's come together and treat one another with respect. Let's talk about the needs of everyone throughout the country. Let's listen. Let's not give bullies with a title the ammunition to divide our country, to create a country where only some enjoy all the freedoms and rights afforded to ALL OF US by the documents our great country was built on.
Anyway, that's my view - in a nutshell.
"Zero what?" you ask. Just Zero.
Zero represents nothing, it is empty. This is the feeling many have inside when any number of people are killed for what seems to be no reason at all. Empty is what people would like to see at stadiums nationwide because of the seeming disrespect players are participating in. Empty are the rooms of the people who while enjoying a concert on a Sunday evening were gunned down for no apparent reason. Zero is the number of gun laws that the NRA want. Zero is the number of protests many people would like to see. Zero is the tolerance level for bullying but zero is also the tolerance level from many of the bullies for those who fight for their equality. We can't keep living in the world of zero, of doing nothing. It is empty.
When some people hear "Black lives matter" they feel it means then "other lives do not".
When some people hear "White privilege" they feel it means "white people have no problems".
The actual meanings could not be more the opposite. If we were to finish the first statement it would read - Black lives matter as much as anyone and every life matters. And "White privilege"? Let me explain ...
First what it doesn't mean:
It doesn't mean all white people are rich.
It doesn't mean all white people have no problems. AND,
It doesn't mean all white people get whatever they want.
What it DOES mean is simply because of your skin color you are afforded certain advantages without earning them. These advantages may be obvious but many are less obvious especially to those living in predominantly white environments who may be on the lower income scale. Even low-income white people are afforded certain privileges they did not earn. The privileges can be anything from presumed greater social status to the freedom to move about, work, play, and speak freely.
When white people say things such as, "Prejudice doesn't exist anymore." or "Racism isn't a problem." When white people add, "It isn't about the color of their skin, if they work hard or don't break the law then they have nothing to worry about." Those statements could not be further from the truth. An innocent white man could be walking down the street at dusk without a care in the world but an innocent black man has to be aware and "on" NOT because of any other reason than the color of his skin.
People say this country is divided, and it is. And anything divided by zero is undefined. Is this country "undefined"? Well, maybe it is. Unlike many countries, we do not have an official language. There are 43 countries that have an official religion. The United States of America is young and was founded on freedoms. The Declaration of Independence was written in 1776 to declare independence from Great Britain. The Constitution was written in 1787 and the Bill of Rights (the first 10 amendments to the Constitution) was written in 1791. These would be the documents that one could argue define our country. I personally think they are good documents and to be clear the Bill of Rights specifically was written to protect the rights of ALL the people of the United States. The Constitution's preamble is "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America." All of us.
We. We the People. That is much more than zero and the rest of the document, each article, each section, they, together, define our country. Let's not define our country by zero, by that empty feeling. Let's yell for the equality. Let's come together and treat one another with respect. Let's talk about the needs of everyone throughout the country. Let's listen. Let's not give bullies with a title the ammunition to divide our country, to create a country where only some enjoy all the freedoms and rights afforded to ALL OF US by the documents our great country was built on.
Anyway, that's my view - in a nutshell.
Sunday, January 22, 2017
Baby It's Cold Outside and Other Types of Weather
It's 60 degrees out. That probably doesn't seem like a big deal, however, it is January 21 and I am in Hamburg, NY. (Hamburg, NY is a town just outside of the City of Buffalo and where I sit I am equally as far from the city as I am the stadium that the beloved Buffalo Bills play in Orchard Park. Back to the weather...)
I have this calendar, "Make the Most of Everyday" and on each day is two check boxes. One with a suggested activity and another with blank lines that you can fill in. Today's suggestion: "Have a snowball fight" This is the THIRD time this month my calendar has suggested a snowy activity that I could not partake in as there is no snow to be had! Add in, that today, in particular, the temperature is nowhere near where it needs to be in order to have snow! I am sad. I understand that there is a majority of people running around today thrilled with the temperature and enjoying it the fact that they do not need to bundle up and even more thrilled that they do not have to shovel any snow. I, however, would like to have a snow fight.
Don't get me wrong, I love the 60-degree weather, when appropriate. I personally do not believe 60-degree weather is necessary for Buffalo in the middle of January. I like winter. I like that we can enjoy all four seasons in this part of the country, I would just like to enjoy them for a few months each rather than all in one week! We have also experienced snow in MAY in this area and as much as I love the snow, in May, though, I am inclined to be looking forward to fields of flowers flourishing, not frost.
Complaining about the weather is something I tend not to do mostly due to the fact that this is simply something I and, as far as I know, no one has control over. Yes, we have meteorologists, however, the best they can do is predict the weather, they cannot change or control it. In light of this information, I am very accepting of weather and it tends not to determine my mood. I am aware that it can and does affect a variety of people in a variety of ways and I understand some of the moods are contingent on things such as getting enough Vitamin D. So when the weather is less than pleasant, my suggestion is, try to find something that you really enjoy doing and do it. No reason to let a rainy day get you down. (Personally, I really enjoy bringing out my inner seven-year-old and go out and jump in the puddles.)
There is enough in this world that can get us down but don't let the weather be one of them. Build forts in the snow, sing in the rain, lay silently in the shade and enjoy some quiet when it's too hot to move about, find a way to enjoy the weather for what it is ... temporary.
I have this calendar, "Make the Most of Everyday" and on each day is two check boxes. One with a suggested activity and another with blank lines that you can fill in. Today's suggestion: "Have a snowball fight" This is the THIRD time this month my calendar has suggested a snowy activity that I could not partake in as there is no snow to be had! Add in, that today, in particular, the temperature is nowhere near where it needs to be in order to have snow! I am sad. I understand that there is a majority of people running around today thrilled with the temperature and enjoying it the fact that they do not need to bundle up and even more thrilled that they do not have to shovel any snow. I, however, would like to have a snow fight.
Don't get me wrong, I love the 60-degree weather, when appropriate. I personally do not believe 60-degree weather is necessary for Buffalo in the middle of January. I like winter. I like that we can enjoy all four seasons in this part of the country, I would just like to enjoy them for a few months each rather than all in one week! We have also experienced snow in MAY in this area and as much as I love the snow, in May, though, I am inclined to be looking forward to fields of flowers flourishing, not frost.
Complaining about the weather is something I tend not to do mostly due to the fact that this is simply something I and, as far as I know, no one has control over. Yes, we have meteorologists, however, the best they can do is predict the weather, they cannot change or control it. In light of this information, I am very accepting of weather and it tends not to determine my mood. I am aware that it can and does affect a variety of people in a variety of ways and I understand some of the moods are contingent on things such as getting enough Vitamin D. So when the weather is less than pleasant, my suggestion is, try to find something that you really enjoy doing and do it. No reason to let a rainy day get you down. (Personally, I really enjoy bringing out my inner seven-year-old and go out and jump in the puddles.)
There is enough in this world that can get us down but don't let the weather be one of them. Build forts in the snow, sing in the rain, lay silently in the shade and enjoy some quiet when it's too hot to move about, find a way to enjoy the weather for what it is ... temporary.
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
It Is Time
Many of you are familiar with the website that shows shoppers of a particular chain discount store, (I am not mentioning the website by name because I have no intentions of promoting it, you will understand why as you read further.) That website is a good indication of what is wrong in the world. No, not the people who are shown in the pictures or videos but the people who take them and the people who partake in laughing at them.
You know what the difference between that, or a video on youtube of someone falling or doing something not so bright and America's Funniest Videos? Do you? The people in the AFV video are typically family or friends who know the video is being submitted. The other websites and such are taken by complete strangers and put up without the permission of those being objectified. (Objectified: To treat someone as an object rather than a person)
It's not funny to me. And before you go on a tangent how I think I am better than everyone else, isn't that what people are doing by putting these things on the internet?
Adults complain about "kids these days don't know how to interact, they are always on their phones"! Guess what? SO ARE YOU!? What's worse is you don't see it! And to compound the problem, you don't see what you are teaching the next generations.
Let me give another example:
I was walking with some friends through a parking lot, my boot got caught and I went down. One minute I was standing having a conversation with them and the next I was flat on the parking lot and they were looking around as though "Where'd she go!?" Of course, when then found me on the ground (without blood streaming or any broken parts) they laughed. Hard. We all laughed. It hurt. My knee was badly bruised but we all laughed. The difference between that and if someone had taken a video and put it on youtube is - If after a few moments we found out it was more serious my friends would have stayed in the emergency room with me all night if it had come to that. They would have checked in on me days later. They would have laughed with me when we told the story together. They would not have speculated why I had fallen because they know why and they would not have judged me by that one moment. The stranger that hypothetically videoed and posted such an incident would not have cared about me in any way. The only things they would have been thinking is "how many likes and shares can I get for this" and THAT is the problem. We are not seeing each other as people anymore.
It's time to put down the phones and the cameras and take out our compassion. It's been missing for far too long.
You know what the difference between that, or a video on youtube of someone falling or doing something not so bright and America's Funniest Videos? Do you? The people in the AFV video are typically family or friends who know the video is being submitted. The other websites and such are taken by complete strangers and put up without the permission of those being objectified. (Objectified: To treat someone as an object rather than a person)
It's not funny to me. And before you go on a tangent how I think I am better than everyone else, isn't that what people are doing by putting these things on the internet?
Adults complain about "kids these days don't know how to interact, they are always on their phones"! Guess what? SO ARE YOU!? What's worse is you don't see it! And to compound the problem, you don't see what you are teaching the next generations.
Let me give another example:
I was walking with some friends through a parking lot, my boot got caught and I went down. One minute I was standing having a conversation with them and the next I was flat on the parking lot and they were looking around as though "Where'd she go!?" Of course, when then found me on the ground (without blood streaming or any broken parts) they laughed. Hard. We all laughed. It hurt. My knee was badly bruised but we all laughed. The difference between that and if someone had taken a video and put it on youtube is - If after a few moments we found out it was more serious my friends would have stayed in the emergency room with me all night if it had come to that. They would have checked in on me days later. They would have laughed with me when we told the story together. They would not have speculated why I had fallen because they know why and they would not have judged me by that one moment. The stranger that hypothetically videoed and posted such an incident would not have cared about me in any way. The only things they would have been thinking is "how many likes and shares can I get for this" and THAT is the problem. We are not seeing each other as people anymore.
It's time to put down the phones and the cameras and take out our compassion. It's been missing for far too long.
Sunday, June 12, 2016
SEVEN is Utopia
My son just turned 18, my daughter is on the verge of 25. I've overheard people say to both, "This is the best time of your life." I fear it is not. That time has long past. It passed by me in May 1978 when I became 8 but the year before that! OH, WHAT A YEAR!
Seven is a magical age. At seven you still have a little bit of "baby face" in you, just enough that people look at you with adoring eyes and yet, you haven't enough to be considered a baby. You're a little taller so you can reach things on counters or at least have enough sense and strength to move a chair over to do so. Parents will hold your hand and you don't mind but the second you are across that busy street you let go, and they let you, usually looking at you lovingly with a smile maybe a little jealousy of your youth and unbound frivolity.
At seven you know nothing of politics, sex, drugs, or term papers. Most seven-year-olds are in second grade and know how to read and can write stories. They may be introduced to the concept of multiplication and division but in no way are expected to "know their times tables"! They most likely know how to ride a bike on their own, as well as swim and shower on their own. They have a certain amount of independence and yet, their parents or sweet older siblings are never too far away for protection or help.
Your imagination ran wild at seven and you looked at the world with excitement. Even something you saw yesterday was discovered as new today because at seven you enjoyed the world at that moment without comparing it to anything. Your imagination ran wild and was your very best friend. Everything was a delight and there were few responsibilities laid upon you. Sure, your parents might ask you to clean your room but if you struggled they would help. You're seven! Still young enough to get away with the pouty face but old enough to know how to use it!
Seven was the perfect age. The perfect year. Seven is "the best time of your life" and when you look back instead of looking at it like it has come and gone I think people so embrace it. It isn't difficult. Shake off the cynicism that has come with aging and look at the world differently. Put on some rose colored glasses and smile. Imagine your salad is a bowl full of Gahookie Fruit and the tomatoes that top it are Chipley Tree Balls. Look at the people you pass by with wonder and amazement because you don't know their stories or where they have been. Make up their stories and make them good ones. Jump in puddles, and scream when you step on a manhole cover. Eat ice cream like it's your first time and enjoy. Enjoy everything. Enjoy waking up in the morning. Enjoy cuddling into bed at night. Enjoy seeing an old friend. Enjoy meeting a stranger. Enjoy seeing the moon in the sky during the day! (This is a personal favorite and I will write more about that some other time.) Enjoy life. Bring out your inner seven-year-old and think of what a wonderful world this would be if everyone did!
Seven is a magical age. At seven you still have a little bit of "baby face" in you, just enough that people look at you with adoring eyes and yet, you haven't enough to be considered a baby. You're a little taller so you can reach things on counters or at least have enough sense and strength to move a chair over to do so. Parents will hold your hand and you don't mind but the second you are across that busy street you let go, and they let you, usually looking at you lovingly with a smile maybe a little jealousy of your youth and unbound frivolity.
At seven you know nothing of politics, sex, drugs, or term papers. Most seven-year-olds are in second grade and know how to read and can write stories. They may be introduced to the concept of multiplication and division but in no way are expected to "know their times tables"! They most likely know how to ride a bike on their own, as well as swim and shower on their own. They have a certain amount of independence and yet, their parents or sweet older siblings are never too far away for protection or help.
Your imagination ran wild at seven and you looked at the world with excitement. Even something you saw yesterday was discovered as new today because at seven you enjoyed the world at that moment without comparing it to anything. Your imagination ran wild and was your very best friend. Everything was a delight and there were few responsibilities laid upon you. Sure, your parents might ask you to clean your room but if you struggled they would help. You're seven! Still young enough to get away with the pouty face but old enough to know how to use it!
Seven was the perfect age. The perfect year. Seven is "the best time of your life" and when you look back instead of looking at it like it has come and gone I think people so embrace it. It isn't difficult. Shake off the cynicism that has come with aging and look at the world differently. Put on some rose colored glasses and smile. Imagine your salad is a bowl full of Gahookie Fruit and the tomatoes that top it are Chipley Tree Balls. Look at the people you pass by with wonder and amazement because you don't know their stories or where they have been. Make up their stories and make them good ones. Jump in puddles, and scream when you step on a manhole cover. Eat ice cream like it's your first time and enjoy. Enjoy everything. Enjoy waking up in the morning. Enjoy cuddling into bed at night. Enjoy seeing an old friend. Enjoy meeting a stranger. Enjoy seeing the moon in the sky during the day! (This is a personal favorite and I will write more about that some other time.) Enjoy life. Bring out your inner seven-year-old and think of what a wonderful world this would be if everyone did!
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
A short prate (Can there be such a thing?) --- What is NORMAL?
Normal: Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.
This is the definition of "normal" but whose standard? whose expectation? We all have different standards and expectations so really ... is there such a thing as NORMAL?
My son, very upset the other day, exclaimed, "Why can't people just be NORMAL?" I looked at him and had no idea what he meant. So, when faced with such a quandary, I asked, "What do you mean?" He explained that (to him) normal is everyone is nice, without judgement, and accepts people the way they are. I smiled and I thought, "Wouldn't that be wonderful!?" I liked my son's definition of normal. It sat in my lap perfectly and made me feel good.
I remember seeing a t-shirt or bumper sticker or whatever it was that said, "Why be normal?" When I first saw it, I agreed. Why would anyone want to be like EVERYONE else? However, if we used my son's definition, then why wouldn't you want to be normal? My son has labels and "contingencies" and IEP's so by the definition he is not what might be considered normal. I have none of those things and I believe it would be a really hard sell to find anyone who knows me, really anyone who has met me, use the word "normal" to describe me! So really, when it comes to normal in the traditional dictionary society accepting definition - you can have it. Though if I were going to use my son's feelings on what is normal then I say, "We should ALL strive to be normal!"
This is the definition of "normal" but whose standard? whose expectation? We all have different standards and expectations so really ... is there such a thing as NORMAL?
My son, very upset the other day, exclaimed, "Why can't people just be NORMAL?" I looked at him and had no idea what he meant. So, when faced with such a quandary, I asked, "What do you mean?" He explained that (to him) normal is everyone is nice, without judgement, and accepts people the way they are. I smiled and I thought, "Wouldn't that be wonderful!?" I liked my son's definition of normal. It sat in my lap perfectly and made me feel good.
I remember seeing a t-shirt or bumper sticker or whatever it was that said, "Why be normal?" When I first saw it, I agreed. Why would anyone want to be like EVERYONE else? However, if we used my son's definition, then why wouldn't you want to be normal? My son has labels and "contingencies" and IEP's so by the definition he is not what might be considered normal. I have none of those things and I believe it would be a really hard sell to find anyone who knows me, really anyone who has met me, use the word "normal" to describe me! So really, when it comes to normal in the traditional dictionary society accepting definition - you can have it. Though if I were going to use my son's feelings on what is normal then I say, "We should ALL strive to be normal!"
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
Escape From Reality; Enjoy Entertainment
I went to the movies the other day, alone. Now don't feel sorry for me, this is how I enjoy going to movies unless I can go with like minded individuals and we can have a discussion about the movie AFTER it has ended! See, I go to movies to escape from the world and be entertained. Movies based on true stories do not bother me as I am keenly aware they are still embellishments of what actually happened. Those embellishments are there for entertainment! I do not watch a documentary for entertainment, I watch it for information. This is an entirely different frame of mind.
At the movies I like to sit back and get enveloped into the story, people talking (whispering or not), checking their phones, crinkling plastic, and so on take away from the experience. When you go to the movies with others they tend to want to talk to you. Movies are awful dates! Plain and simple. If you want to get to know one another, a movie is not the place to do it; if you want to catch up with old pals you have not seen in awhile, a movie is not the place to do it. If you want to be entertained, forget about all the things going on outside those four walls you are sitting in then the movies is the perfect place to be.
When I see a movie and I hear critics, or people criticizing a movie with the words, "It was so unreal, that could never happen." I want to turn to them and say, "Well yeah, DUH, it's a MOOOOVIE!" Why would you want it to be real? Want real? Walk around and pay attention to what is going on around you instead of head tilt looking at your phone! I can't even say watch the news, or "reality" TV because all of that is fabricated to some extent as well.
A problem is, no one really know what "REAL" is anymore. Even our facebook posts and tweets are not reality. It was much more difficult to portray your world as wonderfully perfect, or horribly awful face to face because people would look at you and if they even had a inkling you were lying they would call you on it and you had to respond on the spot. Now you can portray your life as glamorous or as awful as you would like and even if someone questions you it will be lost in all the "likes," shares, posts, and comments. In fact, you can wait days, even weeks before responding or never respond. Meanwhile, the rest of the world is congratulating or sympathizing all over your non-real wall!
This is not to say I do not enjoy going to the movies with family or friends, certainly I do. And if/when they speak or peruse their phone I sit quietly and enjoy the film. Does it bother me? Well, I guess in a word, yes, however, what would bother me more is reacting poorly. I am sure there are more than a few things I do that my friends and family do not particularly like - in fact, I am well aware of some of them, but that's another blog. I do my best to be the best me every day of my life and I like to think I am patient and kind but most of all I like to make people happy. Getting on a friend because they use their phone during a movie probably won't raise their happy bar and although it isn't something I enjoy it certainly isn't going to kill me and I will get over it.
In the end, my point on this is - enjoy movies for what they are there for first: Entertainment. Of course, there are movies out there to make us think, to inspire us, to remind us where we came from, and/or to remind us that we are all on this great big ball together and we should really try to get along and by all means, we should remember that and work on those things and if a movie helps to bring that point home then all the better but again, ENJOY. Heck, you paid for it, at the very least you should do that!
At the movies I like to sit back and get enveloped into the story, people talking (whispering or not), checking their phones, crinkling plastic, and so on take away from the experience. When you go to the movies with others they tend to want to talk to you. Movies are awful dates! Plain and simple. If you want to get to know one another, a movie is not the place to do it; if you want to catch up with old pals you have not seen in awhile, a movie is not the place to do it. If you want to be entertained, forget about all the things going on outside those four walls you are sitting in then the movies is the perfect place to be.
When I see a movie and I hear critics, or people criticizing a movie with the words, "It was so unreal, that could never happen." I want to turn to them and say, "Well yeah, DUH, it's a MOOOOVIE!" Why would you want it to be real? Want real? Walk around and pay attention to what is going on around you instead of head tilt looking at your phone! I can't even say watch the news, or "reality" TV because all of that is fabricated to some extent as well.
A problem is, no one really know what "REAL" is anymore. Even our facebook posts and tweets are not reality. It was much more difficult to portray your world as wonderfully perfect, or horribly awful face to face because people would look at you and if they even had a inkling you were lying they would call you on it and you had to respond on the spot. Now you can portray your life as glamorous or as awful as you would like and even if someone questions you it will be lost in all the "likes," shares, posts, and comments. In fact, you can wait days, even weeks before responding or never respond. Meanwhile, the rest of the world is congratulating or sympathizing all over your non-real wall!
This is not to say I do not enjoy going to the movies with family or friends, certainly I do. And if/when they speak or peruse their phone I sit quietly and enjoy the film. Does it bother me? Well, I guess in a word, yes, however, what would bother me more is reacting poorly. I am sure there are more than a few things I do that my friends and family do not particularly like - in fact, I am well aware of some of them, but that's another blog. I do my best to be the best me every day of my life and I like to think I am patient and kind but most of all I like to make people happy. Getting on a friend because they use their phone during a movie probably won't raise their happy bar and although it isn't something I enjoy it certainly isn't going to kill me and I will get over it.
In the end, my point on this is - enjoy movies for what they are there for first: Entertainment. Of course, there are movies out there to make us think, to inspire us, to remind us where we came from, and/or to remind us that we are all on this great big ball together and we should really try to get along and by all means, we should remember that and work on those things and if a movie helps to bring that point home then all the better but again, ENJOY. Heck, you paid for it, at the very least you should do that!
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