Saturday, November 3, 2018

Hope Beats Hate

How is HATE abolished without more hate?
Through love and understanding. Through hope and kindness, Through information and education.
 I’ve been waiting since the 60’s for that. Try, try again. Watching history repeat itself makes believing that there has been or will be a change difficult.  Why would we want to escape if the hate from the 60’s had died. Peace, love, understanding and education didn’t work then, why will repeating the same work now? 

The above was an exchange with a friend of a friend and I asked that she give me time to respond as after reading her comments I wanted to answer thoughtfully.  I feel her frustration. After much thought, some things that came to mind were, I believe many things have changed from the 60’s and through love, understanding, kindness, and all of it there has been changes towards abolishing hate. Is it completely abolished? No. Will it ever be?  Most likely not. Does that mean we stop trying?  For me, that answer is easy – HELL NO.

I believe that hate stems from a foundation of fear. There are two main avenues I believe the fear comes from. The fear that happens when a person either does not have the correct information or simply decides to ignore the correct information and the fear of losing something, typically power.
The fear of loss of power feeds hate in a way that does not always look like fear. In fact, people who bully others (a type of hate) typically do not look afraid. Typically, they are the ones causing the victim to be afraid but I believe nine times out of ten the bully is afraid of something. Whether it is others seeing them as weak, losing some sort of status they believe they have, something in their mind tells them this behavior is necessary for their survival.  They aren’t wrong per se, in their mind, they are misinformed. Which brings us back to education or correct information. 

(It is very important that education or correct information not be misconstrued with an opinion or incorrect information.  Correct information is associated with a word – that word would be FACT.  Unfortunately, the word FACT has been attacked and somehow become the new “F-word” and is not respected as it should be so for this article and to keep things clear I will continue to use the phrase – correct information.)

How some people feel if homosexual couples get the same rights as male/female couples it somehow invalidates their marriage. This is incorrect information and opinion.  If two men or two women marry one another and have the same legal rights as a man and woman couple it does not take anything away from the man/woman union.  It does not make it less legitimate, it does not take away any legal rights, it does nothing to their marriage AT ALL.  Even if man/woman believe in a religion that believes it is a sin to be in a relationship with someone from the same gender giving homosexuals the legal right to marry does not condemn the man/woman relationships. It just doesn’t.  If, and for me, it’s a big “IF”, homosexuality is a sin and those engaged in it are solidifying their fate to some fiery hell, that is between them and God, it still has no bearing, no influence, no power or authority over the same-sex marriage in any way.  Why hate? Leave Tom and Bob, Sarah and Ann alone.  They are humans in love and are not asking you to join them. (On a side note: I believe the high percentages of marriages that end in divorce are more of an attack on marriage than any same-sex marriage and even so, I do not hate or condemn people who are divorced. Put your hate away.)
Systems of faith and worship, also known as Religion often is the foundation some will stand on to justify their hate.  If you are condemning someone, if you have a right that you are not affording to someone else based on your religion, that is hate.  You can have your belief system, your faith but do not take away another person’s rights because of it.  There is a very good reason our forefathers separated Church and State. This is because the whole reason they fled their country for a new land was so they could worship as they wanted. Religious freedom is the basis of what the United State of America was built on. Yes, most of the people who came over and wrote our Constitution were Christians but they did not and had no intentions of creating a Christian Nation. They knew what it was like to be told they must align themselves with whatever religion the monarchy deemed and they came here looking to get and give the freedom to worship as each individual wished.  This is why religion has no place in making laws.

Yesterday my husband and son were having a discussion about feminism and I was enlightened on some incorrect information my husband had, when my son said, “Feminist are against men and hate them, right?” My husband said yes and I immediately had to clear that up. And just to clear it up for those of you who think the same thing … feminists do not hate men. (Well, I suppose there are people out there who happen to be feminist and may, in fact, hate men but they don’t hate them because they are feminist) Feminism is not about hating men or taking anything away from them. It is about raising women up and equality for them.  No one would ever say Martin Luther King hated white people just because he wanted equality for blacks. 

Wanting equal rights does not mean you want to take away the rights of others; it does not mean you want to lessen the rights of others. It simply is wanting, and frankly deserving, the same rights afforded to others because that is what is right.  That is what we all deserve because we are all humans. Period.  It does not matter our color, our gender, our religious affiliation, or our income each one of us have inalienable rights and here in the United States of America we also have rights granted to us by The Constitution. 

Check your hate at the door, people.  If you are treating another human badly, you need to stop and ask yourself why. What are you afraid of?  Being kind to them, will it really hurt you?  If they have the same rights as you, will your rights be lessened?  Is the information you have correct?  How would you feel if you were being treated the way you are treating them?  Take a breath. Ask yourselves these questions, check yourself.  And while we are at it, check on others. If you see people spreading hate, hurting others, stand up and be the voice of CORRECT INFORMATION.

Let’s stop the hate, together, and no matter how long it takes, let’s not give up HOPE!


Love Lots;Smile Often