What's different about opinions today than from yesteryears? In a word (or two), social media. There is an old saying, "Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink." Two things, the quote itself is an opinion (Irony anyone?) And the opinion it states doesn't seem very respectful. I bring up respect because I was asked about respecting other's opinions, and the more I thought about it, the more I thought - people don't and never have if they disagree with their own opinion. So what is different today?
It's just my opinion, (insert snarky smile here) but people are more "vocal" today. When you shared your opinion before social media, it was within a small group of people. It might have gotten heated, there might have been vulgarities thrown around but it was spoken and typically not recorded. When the event ended or the group broke up and went on to other venues the discussion was done and people moved on. Today, someone writes a post, through Twitter, Facebook, a blog, and suddenly masses of people, (often people who have never even met) people from all over the world have something to say about that opinion. (And it is there forever, screenshots have added a new dynamic to the permanency of our responses.) Add in that the responders are behind a screen at a keyboard typically far far away from the original opinion writer and they feel "safe" in saying whatever they please. In a face to face group, there was always a risk of being popped in the face with a fist or something, no worry about the physical retort on social media!
Today, it would seem as though more people very quickly make personal threats and use vulgar language to cut down another person's opinion when it doesn't match their own views because social media is, well, immediate. It isn't that people didn't disagree before the internet, it is just the internet has made discussions larger and more accessible. This is not reserved for politics and religion. People will get into heated arguments over sports, entertainment, lawn care, driving, and just about anything. If you have an opinion about something and you put it out there on social media to the public, I can almost guarantee that you will hit a nerve with someone who has to share why your opinion is wrong.
The super tragedy of this is, we now have venues in which we can reach an abundance of people from all different backgrounds. We could learn so much. We have the ability to read, contemplate and think before reacting. There isn't a time limit on when we can respond to a post. We can also choose not to respond. (Remember when Momma said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, best to not say anything at all"?) However, so many choose not to only respond but to actually attack the person. Not the opinion, they do not debate or set forth valid reasons for their difference of opinion but actually, attack the person with words because their opinion differs. I believe these attacks are the worst part of social media and the biggest difference between the pre-internet era and today. Even if people did attack the person verbally, I do not feel that people threatened them. I don't recall anyone telling someone to "go kill themselves" just because their opinion differed from theirs. Granted, I've not lived everywhere, I have not been privy to every debate of opinion throughout time and the world, however, it is, again, my opinion that many have thrown out discretion, hide behind their anonymity, and often write terrible hurtful things to strangers without thought of how damaging it can be. This is the sad dark side of the internet and social media.
The new questions we should be asking ourselves before we post comments are: How does my comment benefit the conversation? How does my comment help us to move forward as a society? and maybe most importantly: Would I say this comment out loud face to face in front of a large group?
We need, more than ever, to check ourselves before typing. The animosity today is thick.
Tensions are high and it would seem, understanding and empathy have fallen by the wayside. We have more and quicker access to a larger amount of information and people. Instead of being quick to attack another's opinion how about we take a little time to get to know where people are coming from, what background they have, and "listen," ask questions, learn and maybe even comment with, "I respectfully disagree and this is why," rather than attacking. It all starts somewhere, let kindness and understanding begin with you.
#BeKind #LoveLotsSmileOften
Tuesday, September 25, 2018
Thursday, September 6, 2018
A Clarification of Representation
As a woman with a certain set of skills that traditionally are not considered womanly, I understand being treated badly because someone believes I shouldn't be able to use a certain power tool, or know where a part is under the hood of an automobile. Being thought of as less educated, less able, or less anything pales in comparison to being thought of as a criminal simply based on the color of my skin. This is why Colin Kaepernick and others kneel. If this bothers you I have a few questions for you:
Do you kneel to pray? Have you always stood during the National Anthem, with hand on heart, facing the flag, not talking to your neighbor or doing any number of other things? How about when it is on television and you are in the comfort of your own home? Do you stand? Or do you sit on your couch with your nacho chips and beer? Have you always cared SO MUCH about our flag? Do you have one properly displayed on your property? Do you know how to properly display it? And most importantly, when did the flag of the United States of America become a representation of veterans?
Do not misinterpret that last question, I love many veterans. I have many close to me, related to me, and many I call dear friends but the flag does not represent them - it represents our country. ALL OF US! Me, you, the crying baby just born, Colin Kaepernick, my mother-in-law who only became a citizen because she wanted a passport to go on a cruise, the immigrants that came off the boat to Ellis Island in 1892 who became citizens because they wanted a better life, the slaves that were brought here in the early 1600's who were granted citizenship (finally) in 1868, and every person "born or naturalized in the United States" according to the 14th Amendment of our Constitution. The flag represents all of our country, not a select group.
Veterans who scream, "I fought for that flag and kneeling disrespects me." Frankly, no. You are wrong. It does not disrespect you or this country. This country, which again I remind you - is represented by the flag, is what you fought for. And let's be real for a moment, not all that served did out of "love for their country". There are many reasons why people have served over the history of our country. Some served simply because they were told they had to (and some lied and cheated to get out of it). The fact of the matter is, this country, is made up of many different people, of many different backgrounds, and many different colors and that flag represents every single one of us.
The Constitution of the United States of America affords each of us the right to protest. In fact, it is the very first amendment:
Do you kneel to pray? Have you always stood during the National Anthem, with hand on heart, facing the flag, not talking to your neighbor or doing any number of other things? How about when it is on television and you are in the comfort of your own home? Do you stand? Or do you sit on your couch with your nacho chips and beer? Have you always cared SO MUCH about our flag? Do you have one properly displayed on your property? Do you know how to properly display it? And most importantly, when did the flag of the United States of America become a representation of veterans?
Do not misinterpret that last question, I love many veterans. I have many close to me, related to me, and many I call dear friends but the flag does not represent them - it represents our country. ALL OF US! Me, you, the crying baby just born, Colin Kaepernick, my mother-in-law who only became a citizen because she wanted a passport to go on a cruise, the immigrants that came off the boat to Ellis Island in 1892 who became citizens because they wanted a better life, the slaves that were brought here in the early 1600's who were granted citizenship (finally) in 1868, and every person "born or naturalized in the United States" according to the 14th Amendment of our Constitution. The flag represents all of our country, not a select group.
Veterans who scream, "I fought for that flag and kneeling disrespects me." Frankly, no. You are wrong. It does not disrespect you or this country. This country, which again I remind you - is represented by the flag, is what you fought for. And let's be real for a moment, not all that served did out of "love for their country". There are many reasons why people have served over the history of our country. Some served simply because they were told they had to (and some lied and cheated to get out of it). The fact of the matter is, this country, is made up of many different people, of many different backgrounds, and many different colors and that flag represents every single one of us.
The Constitution of the United States of America affords each of us the right to protest. In fact, it is the very first amendment:
Amendment I. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
This is a foundation of what our country was built on. You do not have to agree with it, you do not have to like it. You do have to know that this is what is written.
Let me end with this clarification:
Veterans fight for our country which is represented by our flag (and National Anthem)- which represents all the citizens of the United States of America who are given the right by the first amendment of our Constitution to protest peaceably something that needs to be fixed. And the way in which minorities and people of color are treated in this country needs to be fixed, posthaste.
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