My son just turned 18, my daughter is on the verge of 25. I've overheard people say to both, "This is the best time of your life." I fear it is not. That time has long past. It passed by me in May 1978 when I became 8 but the year before that! OH, WHAT A YEAR!
Seven is a magical age. At seven you still have a little bit of "baby face" in you, just enough that people look at you with adoring eyes and yet, you haven't enough to be considered a baby. You're a little taller so you can reach things on counters or at least have enough sense and strength to move a chair over to do so. Parents will hold your hand and you don't mind but the second you are across that busy street you let go, and they let you, usually looking at you lovingly with a smile maybe a little jealousy of your youth and unbound frivolity.
At seven you know nothing of politics, sex, drugs, or term papers. Most seven-year-olds are in second grade and know how to read and can write stories. They may be introduced to the concept of multiplication and division but in no way are expected to "know their times tables"! They most likely know how to ride a bike on their own, as well as swim and shower on their own. They have a certain amount of independence and yet, their parents or sweet older siblings are never too far away for protection or help.
Your imagination ran wild at seven and you looked at the world with excitement. Even something you saw yesterday was discovered as new today because at seven you enjoyed the world at that moment without comparing it to anything. Your imagination ran wild and was your very best friend. Everything was a delight and there were few responsibilities laid upon you. Sure, your parents might ask you to clean your room but if you struggled they would help. You're seven! Still young enough to get away with the pouty face but old enough to know how to use it!
Seven was the perfect age. The perfect year. Seven is "the best time of your life" and when you look back instead of looking at it like it has come and gone I think people so embrace it. It isn't difficult. Shake off the cynicism that has come with aging and look at the world differently. Put on some rose colored glasses and smile. Imagine your salad is a bowl full of Gahookie Fruit and the tomatoes that top it are Chipley Tree Balls. Look at the people you pass by with wonder and amazement because you don't know their stories or where they have been. Make up their stories and make them good ones. Jump in puddles, and scream when you step on a manhole cover. Eat ice cream like it's your first time and enjoy. Enjoy everything. Enjoy waking up in the morning. Enjoy cuddling into bed at night. Enjoy seeing an old friend. Enjoy meeting a stranger. Enjoy seeing the moon in the sky during the day! (This is a personal favorite and I will write more about that some other time.) Enjoy life. Bring out your inner seven-year-old and think of what a wonderful world this would be if everyone did!
Sunday, June 12, 2016
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
A short prate (Can there be such a thing?) --- What is NORMAL?
Normal: Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.
This is the definition of "normal" but whose standard? whose expectation? We all have different standards and expectations so really ... is there such a thing as NORMAL?
My son, very upset the other day, exclaimed, "Why can't people just be NORMAL?" I looked at him and had no idea what he meant. So, when faced with such a quandary, I asked, "What do you mean?" He explained that (to him) normal is everyone is nice, without judgement, and accepts people the way they are. I smiled and I thought, "Wouldn't that be wonderful!?" I liked my son's definition of normal. It sat in my lap perfectly and made me feel good.
I remember seeing a t-shirt or bumper sticker or whatever it was that said, "Why be normal?" When I first saw it, I agreed. Why would anyone want to be like EVERYONE else? However, if we used my son's definition, then why wouldn't you want to be normal? My son has labels and "contingencies" and IEP's so by the definition he is not what might be considered normal. I have none of those things and I believe it would be a really hard sell to find anyone who knows me, really anyone who has met me, use the word "normal" to describe me! So really, when it comes to normal in the traditional dictionary society accepting definition - you can have it. Though if I were going to use my son's feelings on what is normal then I say, "We should ALL strive to be normal!"
This is the definition of "normal" but whose standard? whose expectation? We all have different standards and expectations so really ... is there such a thing as NORMAL?
My son, very upset the other day, exclaimed, "Why can't people just be NORMAL?" I looked at him and had no idea what he meant. So, when faced with such a quandary, I asked, "What do you mean?" He explained that (to him) normal is everyone is nice, without judgement, and accepts people the way they are. I smiled and I thought, "Wouldn't that be wonderful!?" I liked my son's definition of normal. It sat in my lap perfectly and made me feel good.
I remember seeing a t-shirt or bumper sticker or whatever it was that said, "Why be normal?" When I first saw it, I agreed. Why would anyone want to be like EVERYONE else? However, if we used my son's definition, then why wouldn't you want to be normal? My son has labels and "contingencies" and IEP's so by the definition he is not what might be considered normal. I have none of those things and I believe it would be a really hard sell to find anyone who knows me, really anyone who has met me, use the word "normal" to describe me! So really, when it comes to normal in the traditional dictionary society accepting definition - you can have it. Though if I were going to use my son's feelings on what is normal then I say, "We should ALL strive to be normal!"
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
Escape From Reality; Enjoy Entertainment
I went to the movies the other day, alone. Now don't feel sorry for me, this is how I enjoy going to movies unless I can go with like minded individuals and we can have a discussion about the movie AFTER it has ended! See, I go to movies to escape from the world and be entertained. Movies based on true stories do not bother me as I am keenly aware they are still embellishments of what actually happened. Those embellishments are there for entertainment! I do not watch a documentary for entertainment, I watch it for information. This is an entirely different frame of mind.
At the movies I like to sit back and get enveloped into the story, people talking (whispering or not), checking their phones, crinkling plastic, and so on take away from the experience. When you go to the movies with others they tend to want to talk to you. Movies are awful dates! Plain and simple. If you want to get to know one another, a movie is not the place to do it; if you want to catch up with old pals you have not seen in awhile, a movie is not the place to do it. If you want to be entertained, forget about all the things going on outside those four walls you are sitting in then the movies is the perfect place to be.
When I see a movie and I hear critics, or people criticizing a movie with the words, "It was so unreal, that could never happen." I want to turn to them and say, "Well yeah, DUH, it's a MOOOOVIE!" Why would you want it to be real? Want real? Walk around and pay attention to what is going on around you instead of head tilt looking at your phone! I can't even say watch the news, or "reality" TV because all of that is fabricated to some extent as well.
A problem is, no one really know what "REAL" is anymore. Even our facebook posts and tweets are not reality. It was much more difficult to portray your world as wonderfully perfect, or horribly awful face to face because people would look at you and if they even had a inkling you were lying they would call you on it and you had to respond on the spot. Now you can portray your life as glamorous or as awful as you would like and even if someone questions you it will be lost in all the "likes," shares, posts, and comments. In fact, you can wait days, even weeks before responding or never respond. Meanwhile, the rest of the world is congratulating or sympathizing all over your non-real wall!
This is not to say I do not enjoy going to the movies with family or friends, certainly I do. And if/when they speak or peruse their phone I sit quietly and enjoy the film. Does it bother me? Well, I guess in a word, yes, however, what would bother me more is reacting poorly. I am sure there are more than a few things I do that my friends and family do not particularly like - in fact, I am well aware of some of them, but that's another blog. I do my best to be the best me every day of my life and I like to think I am patient and kind but most of all I like to make people happy. Getting on a friend because they use their phone during a movie probably won't raise their happy bar and although it isn't something I enjoy it certainly isn't going to kill me and I will get over it.
In the end, my point on this is - enjoy movies for what they are there for first: Entertainment. Of course, there are movies out there to make us think, to inspire us, to remind us where we came from, and/or to remind us that we are all on this great big ball together and we should really try to get along and by all means, we should remember that and work on those things and if a movie helps to bring that point home then all the better but again, ENJOY. Heck, you paid for it, at the very least you should do that!
At the movies I like to sit back and get enveloped into the story, people talking (whispering or not), checking their phones, crinkling plastic, and so on take away from the experience. When you go to the movies with others they tend to want to talk to you. Movies are awful dates! Plain and simple. If you want to get to know one another, a movie is not the place to do it; if you want to catch up with old pals you have not seen in awhile, a movie is not the place to do it. If you want to be entertained, forget about all the things going on outside those four walls you are sitting in then the movies is the perfect place to be.
When I see a movie and I hear critics, or people criticizing a movie with the words, "It was so unreal, that could never happen." I want to turn to them and say, "Well yeah, DUH, it's a MOOOOVIE!" Why would you want it to be real? Want real? Walk around and pay attention to what is going on around you instead of head tilt looking at your phone! I can't even say watch the news, or "reality" TV because all of that is fabricated to some extent as well.
A problem is, no one really know what "REAL" is anymore. Even our facebook posts and tweets are not reality. It was much more difficult to portray your world as wonderfully perfect, or horribly awful face to face because people would look at you and if they even had a inkling you were lying they would call you on it and you had to respond on the spot. Now you can portray your life as glamorous or as awful as you would like and even if someone questions you it will be lost in all the "likes," shares, posts, and comments. In fact, you can wait days, even weeks before responding or never respond. Meanwhile, the rest of the world is congratulating or sympathizing all over your non-real wall!
This is not to say I do not enjoy going to the movies with family or friends, certainly I do. And if/when they speak or peruse their phone I sit quietly and enjoy the film. Does it bother me? Well, I guess in a word, yes, however, what would bother me more is reacting poorly. I am sure there are more than a few things I do that my friends and family do not particularly like - in fact, I am well aware of some of them, but that's another blog. I do my best to be the best me every day of my life and I like to think I am patient and kind but most of all I like to make people happy. Getting on a friend because they use their phone during a movie probably won't raise their happy bar and although it isn't something I enjoy it certainly isn't going to kill me and I will get over it.
In the end, my point on this is - enjoy movies for what they are there for first: Entertainment. Of course, there are movies out there to make us think, to inspire us, to remind us where we came from, and/or to remind us that we are all on this great big ball together and we should really try to get along and by all means, we should remember that and work on those things and if a movie helps to bring that point home then all the better but again, ENJOY. Heck, you paid for it, at the very least you should do that!
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