It's 60 degrees out. That probably doesn't seem like a big deal, however, it is January 21 and I am in Hamburg, NY. (Hamburg, NY is a town just outside of the City of Buffalo and where I sit I am equally as far from the city as I am the stadium that the beloved Buffalo Bills play in Orchard Park. Back to the weather...)
I have this calendar, "Make the Most of Everyday" and on each day is two check boxes. One with a suggested activity and another with blank lines that you can fill in. Today's suggestion: "Have a snowball fight" This is the THIRD time this month my calendar has suggested a snowy activity that I could not partake in as there is no snow to be had! Add in, that today, in particular, the temperature is nowhere near where it needs to be in order to have snow! I am sad. I understand that there is a majority of people running around today thrilled with the temperature and enjoying it the fact that they do not need to bundle up and even more thrilled that they do not have to shovel any snow. I, however, would like to have a snow fight.
Don't get me wrong, I love the 60-degree weather, when appropriate. I personally do not believe 60-degree weather is necessary for Buffalo in the middle of January. I like winter. I like that we can enjoy all four seasons in this part of the country, I would just like to enjoy them for a few months each rather than all in one week! We have also experienced snow in MAY in this area and as much as I love the snow, in May, though, I am inclined to be looking forward to fields of flowers flourishing, not frost.
Complaining about the weather is something I tend not to do mostly due to the fact that this is simply something I and, as far as I know, no one has control over. Yes, we have meteorologists, however, the best they can do is predict the weather, they cannot change or control it. In light of this information, I am very accepting of weather and it tends not to determine my mood. I am aware that it can and does affect a variety of people in a variety of ways and I understand some of the moods are contingent on things such as getting enough Vitamin D. So when the weather is less than pleasant, my suggestion is, try to find something that you really enjoy doing and do it. No reason to let a rainy day get you down. (Personally, I really enjoy bringing out my inner seven-year-old and go out and jump in the puddles.)
There is enough in this world that can get us down but don't let the weather be one of them. Build forts in the snow, sing in the rain, lay silently in the shade and enjoy some quiet when it's too hot to move about, find a way to enjoy the weather for what it is ... temporary.
Sunday, January 22, 2017
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
It Is Time
Many of you are familiar with the website that shows shoppers of a particular chain discount store, (I am not mentioning the website by name because I have no intentions of promoting it, you will understand why as you read further.) That website is a good indication of what is wrong in the world. No, not the people who are shown in the pictures or videos but the people who take them and the people who partake in laughing at them.
You know what the difference between that, or a video on youtube of someone falling or doing something not so bright and America's Funniest Videos? Do you? The people in the AFV video are typically family or friends who know the video is being submitted. The other websites and such are taken by complete strangers and put up without the permission of those being objectified. (Objectified: To treat someone as an object rather than a person)
It's not funny to me. And before you go on a tangent how I think I am better than everyone else, isn't that what people are doing by putting these things on the internet?
Adults complain about "kids these days don't know how to interact, they are always on their phones"! Guess what? SO ARE YOU!? What's worse is you don't see it! And to compound the problem, you don't see what you are teaching the next generations.
Let me give another example:
I was walking with some friends through a parking lot, my boot got caught and I went down. One minute I was standing having a conversation with them and the next I was flat on the parking lot and they were looking around as though "Where'd she go!?" Of course, when then found me on the ground (without blood streaming or any broken parts) they laughed. Hard. We all laughed. It hurt. My knee was badly bruised but we all laughed. The difference between that and if someone had taken a video and put it on youtube is - If after a few moments we found out it was more serious my friends would have stayed in the emergency room with me all night if it had come to that. They would have checked in on me days later. They would have laughed with me when we told the story together. They would not have speculated why I had fallen because they know why and they would not have judged me by that one moment. The stranger that hypothetically videoed and posted such an incident would not have cared about me in any way. The only things they would have been thinking is "how many likes and shares can I get for this" and THAT is the problem. We are not seeing each other as people anymore.
It's time to put down the phones and the cameras and take out our compassion. It's been missing for far too long.
You know what the difference between that, or a video on youtube of someone falling or doing something not so bright and America's Funniest Videos? Do you? The people in the AFV video are typically family or friends who know the video is being submitted. The other websites and such are taken by complete strangers and put up without the permission of those being objectified. (Objectified: To treat someone as an object rather than a person)
It's not funny to me. And before you go on a tangent how I think I am better than everyone else, isn't that what people are doing by putting these things on the internet?
Adults complain about "kids these days don't know how to interact, they are always on their phones"! Guess what? SO ARE YOU!? What's worse is you don't see it! And to compound the problem, you don't see what you are teaching the next generations.
Let me give another example:
I was walking with some friends through a parking lot, my boot got caught and I went down. One minute I was standing having a conversation with them and the next I was flat on the parking lot and they were looking around as though "Where'd she go!?" Of course, when then found me on the ground (without blood streaming or any broken parts) they laughed. Hard. We all laughed. It hurt. My knee was badly bruised but we all laughed. The difference between that and if someone had taken a video and put it on youtube is - If after a few moments we found out it was more serious my friends would have stayed in the emergency room with me all night if it had come to that. They would have checked in on me days later. They would have laughed with me when we told the story together. They would not have speculated why I had fallen because they know why and they would not have judged me by that one moment. The stranger that hypothetically videoed and posted such an incident would not have cared about me in any way. The only things they would have been thinking is "how many likes and shares can I get for this" and THAT is the problem. We are not seeing each other as people anymore.
It's time to put down the phones and the cameras and take out our compassion. It's been missing for far too long.
Sunday, June 12, 2016
SEVEN is Utopia
My son just turned 18, my daughter is on the verge of 25. I've overheard people say to both, "This is the best time of your life." I fear it is not. That time has long past. It passed by me in May 1978 when I became 8 but the year before that! OH, WHAT A YEAR!
Seven is a magical age. At seven you still have a little bit of "baby face" in you, just enough that people look at you with adoring eyes and yet, you haven't enough to be considered a baby. You're a little taller so you can reach things on counters or at least have enough sense and strength to move a chair over to do so. Parents will hold your hand and you don't mind but the second you are across that busy street you let go, and they let you, usually looking at you lovingly with a smile maybe a little jealousy of your youth and unbound frivolity.
At seven you know nothing of politics, sex, drugs, or term papers. Most seven-year-olds are in second grade and know how to read and can write stories. They may be introduced to the concept of multiplication and division but in no way are expected to "know their times tables"! They most likely know how to ride a bike on their own, as well as swim and shower on their own. They have a certain amount of independence and yet, their parents or sweet older siblings are never too far away for protection or help.
Your imagination ran wild at seven and you looked at the world with excitement. Even something you saw yesterday was discovered as new today because at seven you enjoyed the world at that moment without comparing it to anything. Your imagination ran wild and was your very best friend. Everything was a delight and there were few responsibilities laid upon you. Sure, your parents might ask you to clean your room but if you struggled they would help. You're seven! Still young enough to get away with the pouty face but old enough to know how to use it!
Seven was the perfect age. The perfect year. Seven is "the best time of your life" and when you look back instead of looking at it like it has come and gone I think people so embrace it. It isn't difficult. Shake off the cynicism that has come with aging and look at the world differently. Put on some rose colored glasses and smile. Imagine your salad is a bowl full of Gahookie Fruit and the tomatoes that top it are Chipley Tree Balls. Look at the people you pass by with wonder and amazement because you don't know their stories or where they have been. Make up their stories and make them good ones. Jump in puddles, and scream when you step on a manhole cover. Eat ice cream like it's your first time and enjoy. Enjoy everything. Enjoy waking up in the morning. Enjoy cuddling into bed at night. Enjoy seeing an old friend. Enjoy meeting a stranger. Enjoy seeing the moon in the sky during the day! (This is a personal favorite and I will write more about that some other time.) Enjoy life. Bring out your inner seven-year-old and think of what a wonderful world this would be if everyone did!
Seven is a magical age. At seven you still have a little bit of "baby face" in you, just enough that people look at you with adoring eyes and yet, you haven't enough to be considered a baby. You're a little taller so you can reach things on counters or at least have enough sense and strength to move a chair over to do so. Parents will hold your hand and you don't mind but the second you are across that busy street you let go, and they let you, usually looking at you lovingly with a smile maybe a little jealousy of your youth and unbound frivolity.
At seven you know nothing of politics, sex, drugs, or term papers. Most seven-year-olds are in second grade and know how to read and can write stories. They may be introduced to the concept of multiplication and division but in no way are expected to "know their times tables"! They most likely know how to ride a bike on their own, as well as swim and shower on their own. They have a certain amount of independence and yet, their parents or sweet older siblings are never too far away for protection or help.
Your imagination ran wild at seven and you looked at the world with excitement. Even something you saw yesterday was discovered as new today because at seven you enjoyed the world at that moment without comparing it to anything. Your imagination ran wild and was your very best friend. Everything was a delight and there were few responsibilities laid upon you. Sure, your parents might ask you to clean your room but if you struggled they would help. You're seven! Still young enough to get away with the pouty face but old enough to know how to use it!
Seven was the perfect age. The perfect year. Seven is "the best time of your life" and when you look back instead of looking at it like it has come and gone I think people so embrace it. It isn't difficult. Shake off the cynicism that has come with aging and look at the world differently. Put on some rose colored glasses and smile. Imagine your salad is a bowl full of Gahookie Fruit and the tomatoes that top it are Chipley Tree Balls. Look at the people you pass by with wonder and amazement because you don't know their stories or where they have been. Make up their stories and make them good ones. Jump in puddles, and scream when you step on a manhole cover. Eat ice cream like it's your first time and enjoy. Enjoy everything. Enjoy waking up in the morning. Enjoy cuddling into bed at night. Enjoy seeing an old friend. Enjoy meeting a stranger. Enjoy seeing the moon in the sky during the day! (This is a personal favorite and I will write more about that some other time.) Enjoy life. Bring out your inner seven-year-old and think of what a wonderful world this would be if everyone did!
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
A short prate (Can there be such a thing?) --- What is NORMAL?
Normal: Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.
This is the definition of "normal" but whose standard? whose expectation? We all have different standards and expectations so really ... is there such a thing as NORMAL?
My son, very upset the other day, exclaimed, "Why can't people just be NORMAL?" I looked at him and had no idea what he meant. So, when faced with such a quandary, I asked, "What do you mean?" He explained that (to him) normal is everyone is nice, without judgement, and accepts people the way they are. I smiled and I thought, "Wouldn't that be wonderful!?" I liked my son's definition of normal. It sat in my lap perfectly and made me feel good.
I remember seeing a t-shirt or bumper sticker or whatever it was that said, "Why be normal?" When I first saw it, I agreed. Why would anyone want to be like EVERYONE else? However, if we used my son's definition, then why wouldn't you want to be normal? My son has labels and "contingencies" and IEP's so by the definition he is not what might be considered normal. I have none of those things and I believe it would be a really hard sell to find anyone who knows me, really anyone who has met me, use the word "normal" to describe me! So really, when it comes to normal in the traditional dictionary society accepting definition - you can have it. Though if I were going to use my son's feelings on what is normal then I say, "We should ALL strive to be normal!"
This is the definition of "normal" but whose standard? whose expectation? We all have different standards and expectations so really ... is there such a thing as NORMAL?
My son, very upset the other day, exclaimed, "Why can't people just be NORMAL?" I looked at him and had no idea what he meant. So, when faced with such a quandary, I asked, "What do you mean?" He explained that (to him) normal is everyone is nice, without judgement, and accepts people the way they are. I smiled and I thought, "Wouldn't that be wonderful!?" I liked my son's definition of normal. It sat in my lap perfectly and made me feel good.
I remember seeing a t-shirt or bumper sticker or whatever it was that said, "Why be normal?" When I first saw it, I agreed. Why would anyone want to be like EVERYONE else? However, if we used my son's definition, then why wouldn't you want to be normal? My son has labels and "contingencies" and IEP's so by the definition he is not what might be considered normal. I have none of those things and I believe it would be a really hard sell to find anyone who knows me, really anyone who has met me, use the word "normal" to describe me! So really, when it comes to normal in the traditional dictionary society accepting definition - you can have it. Though if I were going to use my son's feelings on what is normal then I say, "We should ALL strive to be normal!"
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
Escape From Reality; Enjoy Entertainment
I went to the movies the other day, alone. Now don't feel sorry for me, this is how I enjoy going to movies unless I can go with like minded individuals and we can have a discussion about the movie AFTER it has ended! See, I go to movies to escape from the world and be entertained. Movies based on true stories do not bother me as I am keenly aware they are still embellishments of what actually happened. Those embellishments are there for entertainment! I do not watch a documentary for entertainment, I watch it for information. This is an entirely different frame of mind.
At the movies I like to sit back and get enveloped into the story, people talking (whispering or not), checking their phones, crinkling plastic, and so on take away from the experience. When you go to the movies with others they tend to want to talk to you. Movies are awful dates! Plain and simple. If you want to get to know one another, a movie is not the place to do it; if you want to catch up with old pals you have not seen in awhile, a movie is not the place to do it. If you want to be entertained, forget about all the things going on outside those four walls you are sitting in then the movies is the perfect place to be.
When I see a movie and I hear critics, or people criticizing a movie with the words, "It was so unreal, that could never happen." I want to turn to them and say, "Well yeah, DUH, it's a MOOOOVIE!" Why would you want it to be real? Want real? Walk around and pay attention to what is going on around you instead of head tilt looking at your phone! I can't even say watch the news, or "reality" TV because all of that is fabricated to some extent as well.
A problem is, no one really know what "REAL" is anymore. Even our facebook posts and tweets are not reality. It was much more difficult to portray your world as wonderfully perfect, or horribly awful face to face because people would look at you and if they even had a inkling you were lying they would call you on it and you had to respond on the spot. Now you can portray your life as glamorous or as awful as you would like and even if someone questions you it will be lost in all the "likes," shares, posts, and comments. In fact, you can wait days, even weeks before responding or never respond. Meanwhile, the rest of the world is congratulating or sympathizing all over your non-real wall!
This is not to say I do not enjoy going to the movies with family or friends, certainly I do. And if/when they speak or peruse their phone I sit quietly and enjoy the film. Does it bother me? Well, I guess in a word, yes, however, what would bother me more is reacting poorly. I am sure there are more than a few things I do that my friends and family do not particularly like - in fact, I am well aware of some of them, but that's another blog. I do my best to be the best me every day of my life and I like to think I am patient and kind but most of all I like to make people happy. Getting on a friend because they use their phone during a movie probably won't raise their happy bar and although it isn't something I enjoy it certainly isn't going to kill me and I will get over it.
In the end, my point on this is - enjoy movies for what they are there for first: Entertainment. Of course, there are movies out there to make us think, to inspire us, to remind us where we came from, and/or to remind us that we are all on this great big ball together and we should really try to get along and by all means, we should remember that and work on those things and if a movie helps to bring that point home then all the better but again, ENJOY. Heck, you paid for it, at the very least you should do that!
At the movies I like to sit back and get enveloped into the story, people talking (whispering or not), checking their phones, crinkling plastic, and so on take away from the experience. When you go to the movies with others they tend to want to talk to you. Movies are awful dates! Plain and simple. If you want to get to know one another, a movie is not the place to do it; if you want to catch up with old pals you have not seen in awhile, a movie is not the place to do it. If you want to be entertained, forget about all the things going on outside those four walls you are sitting in then the movies is the perfect place to be.
When I see a movie and I hear critics, or people criticizing a movie with the words, "It was so unreal, that could never happen." I want to turn to them and say, "Well yeah, DUH, it's a MOOOOVIE!" Why would you want it to be real? Want real? Walk around and pay attention to what is going on around you instead of head tilt looking at your phone! I can't even say watch the news, or "reality" TV because all of that is fabricated to some extent as well.
A problem is, no one really know what "REAL" is anymore. Even our facebook posts and tweets are not reality. It was much more difficult to portray your world as wonderfully perfect, or horribly awful face to face because people would look at you and if they even had a inkling you were lying they would call you on it and you had to respond on the spot. Now you can portray your life as glamorous or as awful as you would like and even if someone questions you it will be lost in all the "likes," shares, posts, and comments. In fact, you can wait days, even weeks before responding or never respond. Meanwhile, the rest of the world is congratulating or sympathizing all over your non-real wall!
This is not to say I do not enjoy going to the movies with family or friends, certainly I do. And if/when they speak or peruse their phone I sit quietly and enjoy the film. Does it bother me? Well, I guess in a word, yes, however, what would bother me more is reacting poorly. I am sure there are more than a few things I do that my friends and family do not particularly like - in fact, I am well aware of some of them, but that's another blog. I do my best to be the best me every day of my life and I like to think I am patient and kind but most of all I like to make people happy. Getting on a friend because they use their phone during a movie probably won't raise their happy bar and although it isn't something I enjoy it certainly isn't going to kill me and I will get over it.
In the end, my point on this is - enjoy movies for what they are there for first: Entertainment. Of course, there are movies out there to make us think, to inspire us, to remind us where we came from, and/or to remind us that we are all on this great big ball together and we should really try to get along and by all means, we should remember that and work on those things and if a movie helps to bring that point home then all the better but again, ENJOY. Heck, you paid for it, at the very least you should do that!
Sunday, November 15, 2015
Let's Assume ...
Or let's not! Just because I am a Christian one might assume I want Roe vs Wade over turned, or that I am against gay marriage, or that I think that I am getting into heaven and anyone who doesn't agree with me is not.
Because a woman is blond does not automatically make her dumb. Because a man is Italian and wears really nice tailored suits does not make him part of the mafia. And just because a person is Muslim does not make them anti-American or a terrorist. These can all be described as stereotypes.
Stereotype - A widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing.
Stereotypes are good for one thing - comedy. And when using a stereotype in a comedic formulation it is meant to be funny because the fact is that stereotypes are wrong! It would be wonderful if stereotypes were spot on; we would always know exactly what to expect from a jock, a Jew, or a gypsy. However, they are not spot on and even if a particular person or thing does fall neatly into the box of a certain stereotype that does not make that okay!
Stop assuming that just because I am female I get over emotional at certain times of the month, I live for chocolate, and I have a million pairs of shoes. (Now, I do have quite a few pairs of shoes however, so does my father and I can assure you he is 100% NOT a woman!) And as far as chocolate goes I could live the rest of my life without it, though I do not think my husband or son could, and again, they are not women!
I understand that it is human nature to have a predisposition towards certain things and based on past experiences people will come up with a conclusion. All I am saying is do not lump an entire ... well, an entire anything into one category. Spouting off on your facebooks, reddits, and twitters that an entire group should be eliminated only makes you sound uneducated and like Hitler. You may have the best intentions but really? I am also not saying to turn a blind eye to what is happening around our world today. I do not walk around oblivious with rose colored glasses on however, I also do not think that everyone who does not look like me or who does not think like me should be annihilated.
Everyone has an opinion, and everyone is allowed to agree or disagree however, if you are just spouting off stereotypes and not really adding to the discussion or not even thinking about entertaining any idea other than "Let's just wipe them off the face of the Earth," (and you are putting innocent "thems" in with the guilty ones) ... then really, you are a part of the problem.
Because a woman is blond does not automatically make her dumb. Because a man is Italian and wears really nice tailored suits does not make him part of the mafia. And just because a person is Muslim does not make them anti-American or a terrorist. These can all be described as stereotypes.
Stereotype - A widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing.
Stereotypes are good for one thing - comedy. And when using a stereotype in a comedic formulation it is meant to be funny because the fact is that stereotypes are wrong! It would be wonderful if stereotypes were spot on; we would always know exactly what to expect from a jock, a Jew, or a gypsy. However, they are not spot on and even if a particular person or thing does fall neatly into the box of a certain stereotype that does not make that okay!
Stop assuming that just because I am female I get over emotional at certain times of the month, I live for chocolate, and I have a million pairs of shoes. (Now, I do have quite a few pairs of shoes however, so does my father and I can assure you he is 100% NOT a woman!) And as far as chocolate goes I could live the rest of my life without it, though I do not think my husband or son could, and again, they are not women!
I understand that it is human nature to have a predisposition towards certain things and based on past experiences people will come up with a conclusion. All I am saying is do not lump an entire ... well, an entire anything into one category. Spouting off on your facebooks, reddits, and twitters that an entire group should be eliminated only makes you sound uneducated and like Hitler. You may have the best intentions but really? I am also not saying to turn a blind eye to what is happening around our world today. I do not walk around oblivious with rose colored glasses on however, I also do not think that everyone who does not look like me or who does not think like me should be annihilated.
Everyone has an opinion, and everyone is allowed to agree or disagree however, if you are just spouting off stereotypes and not really adding to the discussion or not even thinking about entertaining any idea other than "Let's just wipe them off the face of the Earth," (and you are putting innocent "thems" in with the guilty ones) ... then really, you are a part of the problem.
Thursday, October 29, 2015
You Know What "Maybe" Means?
The word "maybe" is used to convey uncertainty. The use of the word "maybe" has risen dramatically since its inception in the early 1800's. Have we become less decisive? I believe we have become lazy and non-committal.
Frankly, when I have invited someone to a get together, an event, or anything requiring a "yes" or "no" response and I get "maybe" what I actually hear is, "If I haven't gotten a better offer..." I find everything about the word lazy. By all means just say, "Well if nothing better is happening then or I just don't feel like it at that time..." Although, I would much rather hear, "Let me look at my calendar and I will get back to you." So long as you do get back to me! This would typically happen within the next 24-48 hours depending on when the event in question is going to occur. This might be a much more pleasant option as you may not want to attend the event, (which is within your right) but you don't want to say no in a face-to-face situation. Thereby avoiding any further inquiry. Though, if it is an interaction between myself and someone, there would be no further inquiry. If you wanted to share your reasons for not attending that is completely up to you, however, I would not ask why you cannot attend! That is simply none of my business.
This might be the reason why people lean on the "maybe" for lack of wanting to come up with excuses why they cannot or will not attend. I am much more likely to pursue you when you give me a maybe than a no. Simply because the "maybe" is just a cop-out. It's your lack of commitment, your attempt at politeness not wanting to offend or it is flat out an excuse to keep the person at bay until you have exhausted all your options.
Honesty never offends me. Be honest! Yes, honesty can sting a little however, I would take a thousand stings of honesty over a lazy, non-committing, flat out lie of a "maybe" any day. After all, you know if you can or cannot attend. You know if you want or do not want to attend. The only thing standing in your way is your lack of being honest with me. You can hurt me if you are honest but I can and will get over it and I will have nothing to hold against you. Lie to me, and you have not only hurt me, as you did not respect me enough to tell me the truth, but you have made me leery of trusting you on any level.
Give me a YES! Give me a NO! Give me "I'd rather have my teeth drilled without Novocain." But for the sake of not looking like a lazy liar, please, do not give me MAYBE!
[Please leave me your honest comments on this or any of my blogs below! Thanks!]
[Please leave me your honest comments on this or any of my blogs below! Thanks!]
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