Saturday, February 24, 2018

First Impressions Need Time

How many times have you looked at something only to find on closer inspection it wasn't what you thought it was?  This may hold true for people as well!

We meet someone and there is always that first impression.  Sometimes the first impression happens even before we speak to them.  You see a someone across a room, maybe it is the way they are dressed, the people surrounding them, or lack thereof, or possibly it is the cut of their hair or their stride. For whatever reason, you gather the data and in your mind, you begin forming an opinion of that person. A judgment.  You might be spot on or you may be so far off the mark no one can figure out how you even got there, the point is, it is human nature.  I'm not a fan of it but it cannot be helped except ... it can!

Of course, we cannot necessarily control the first thoughts that go through our minds upon meeting or seeing someone. It is typically based on history.  Your eyes take in what they see and your brain associates it with things from your past; things you have read, experienced or heard about.  Basically, your brain takes all this information from the past and mixes it up with what you are experiencing at this moment and comes up with "a theory" of sorts. You cannot help the experiences and knowledge from your past mixed with the current information create a certain conclusion. However, you can choose to put that thought on the back burner and allow time, conversation, and allow personal experience with the specific person to create a much better and a more well-informed impression. Testing the theory of sorts, as it were.

People are not generally patient.  They want instant results and there is something about "gut reactions" that some people feel are truer to form than allowing time to make a decision or form an opinion. This is absurd due mostly to the fact that a gut reaction has only the immediate information to base its response on and we all have "off" days. Gut reactions may be a good starting point, but gathering more data and making an informed decision is better.  Add in that there are so many sides to all of us. How unfair and unfortunate if we are judged on just one small part of who we are? Not just for the person being judged but for the person making the judgment.  You never know when you are going to miss out on someone truly spectacular because you decided too soon they weren't worth your time. 

Let's give one another a chance to be our best selves and remember, that won't necessarily be the very first time we meet.


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